Originally posted by eclectica
When I went to Stony Brook university there were some cryptic scrawlings
around the campus that said "eat a poptart for Jesus". What did they mean?

They meant the same thing that "Nuke the unborn baby whales and sell the radioactive flesh to the Japanese Karaoke singers for Jesus" means. It's a parody, man.

It all started way back when Jesus still walked the earth. Citizens would bring him all of their problems and ills in the hope that the reportedly mighty son of God would ease their suffering. And he DID ease their suffering. Interpretation of miracles is difficult when you are 2 millennia removed, but suffice it to say they felt they had received some form of benefit from Him. In gratitude, and noticing his complete lack of visible means of support, they began to bring him food.

Initially, Christ would do what he could to accept their humble gifts. He slammed back loaves and fishes and halvah and dates and figs; even some matzoh balls passed the Divine One's lips. Eventually, the gifts became so plentiful that Jesus himself needed Divine Interception of Edible Tithing.

Yes, that's right. Jesus invented Dieting.

To avoid becoming The Whale of God, Jesus asked that his disciples, and their families, eat at least some of the gifts bestowed upon him. "Eat a fig for Me!", he would implore his faithful flock. "Eat a fig, for Jesus" his faithful servants would murmur. "Eat a fish for Jesus!" "Eat a loaf for Jesus!"

And so it has continued through the centuries.

I hope I have answered your question, Eclectica.


What have you done with McT-Bone?

My toaster is empty, and I am becoming bored.....