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2004-02-24, 00:53
Do you believe that the people you interact with on forums are real, or entities which cease to exist once you shut your computer down? One of the people I like the most that I've met online is Nancy, who goes by the name of nanook or Lamourlady. She is a true friend and will stick up for you even when it's unpopular to do so. She gives of herself freely to the rest of us. She hasn't been around here in this forum lately, but she's probably okay and taking a break from forums or busy with her life. I've known her for three years now, though I've never met her in person. I hope to be able to some day.

Something that I want to save in the forum here is a post she made 2003-08-30 over at Zeropaid in the thread titled Tell Us About Yourself (http://www.zeropaid.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=14090)
i'm late again, as usual for all the good & bad stuff.
what can i say except that i'm a bit down now.
firstly, i'll say a bit about myself, cause that's what the thread is about.
my name is Nancy. i've just turned 37. i was originally born in Canada, but my real father left my mother and she met a man from St. Louis. there i grew up until i graduated high-school.
unfortunately, both parents were alcoholics and my 3 brothers and i were taken away when i was 6 years old. we all grew up in the children's services.....foster homes, children's homes.
i think, in the end, it was the best thing to have happened, for me at least...but my brother's stories are an entirely different saga.
2 weeks after graduation.....(i lived a pretty normal life in a privately owned children's home from 9 until 17 years of age)...i got on a plane and flew to Toronto, where my mother had moved, after leaving my father. she was trying to get her shit together....and i needed to be with her. it was here that i met my husband...1984. we lived together for 2 years when i got pregnant......we decided to marry.
what i didn't know...was that he was an alcoholic. oh the irony of being protected from all of that bullshit...only to marry one.
a big DOH, here!
we are still married. i did leave him once in 1992, and moved back to this small town, where i was originally born, in Ontario, Canada.....another irony.
he followed and i took him back.
foolish? somewhat. he's not the kind who beats me or anything, but i will admit that his drinking has always taken our lives through some very hard times.
i am in the midst of considering my future without him...yet again.
so, yeah, i guess i have built this wall around my daughter...giving her everything i never had and at the same time protecting her from all that could have ruined my life when i was younger......taking that heat now.
somehow it has worked, because she is everything i would want in a daughter and much, much more.
the only problem with all of this is that i have lost myself along the way...so i consider now, a time of change, a crossroads, if u will.
i used to work for the government....civil servant, but hubby's drinking was going to ruin that, so i quit before i could get fired.
when i left and moved to this small town, i found it to be a town of blue-collar people and as always, i morphed, as i always have, into what i needed to be to survive.
we both work in factories. i have been laid-off for 3 years and await the outcome of a threat to close and move to Mexico.
i await the severence or call-back, which will help me to determine what path i take for my own future with or without my husband. so i work in a low-paying factory, 2 times less than i was....struggling, but holding on.
and i guess the computer and ZP give me a space to call my own, to get away from the stress of what i may have to do, to find my calling for the future.

hmmm...that was a load off, eh?
anyhoo....i must now say that i am not shocked at Krell's declaration of leaving. as mojo has said, he had some great ideas for what he wanted to contribute to Zeropaid.
it's just so hard when so many different minds r trying to get together.
i like his way of doing things...that's why i like so many of the members here.....they have great balls!
and i like ballsy people.
i, myself, am kinda like a shadow here...lol.
Krell was the only one who ever really took much notice of me and made me most welcome when i first arrived.
he is the one who made me really feel like an accepted member here.
i can only say.....thank you, bud.
and that, like everyone else here....i will miss u dearly.
and i would like u to keep in touch.
if u don't want to post here, then pm or email.
just so we know u r still alive and busting someone's balls.
good luck in your every endeavor and know that we will be thinking of you....mos def!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-02-24, 01:41
i miss nooky... i dont like it when forum members go missing for a period of time, because i get worried about them.

Remembering "metal girl" from the old napster days, she was so high strung and dramatic, that when she disapeared from the forums, i pictured her having a heart attack and laying in her coffin.

Nook i miss very much, because she brought about a very honest gentleness that only a good, caring woman can bring. I've always wished her the best and i admire her greatly for everything she has come to be.

2004-02-24, 02:36
Yes, I miss her too

also the fish person :bluefish:

and that angry dork
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

sometimes he was funny :)

cowboy mehmet was ok here also.