goodbye

[tim]

________________________________
move along nothing to see here folks!

[Dollar_Girl]

You have mentioned that you have self-diagnosed yourself as manic depressive. Why do you not seek professional diagnosis? Maybe and hopefully soon, u will be able to wake up with a passion for each day, instead of a random mixture of passion and deep sadness.

[Dollar_Girl]

I think you should seek medical help, and not inform your doctor of your self diagnosis. See what he/she says and if you disagree then offer your opinion. You have no choice but to go to what u call 'incompitent' medical practitioners, for they are the only ones who can offer you medication if that is what you need to bring a balance to the chemicals in your brain. Perhaps you are experiencing a dangerous cycle, where your physical condition adds to your depression and your depression worsens your physical condition and removes any motivation or will to better yourself. The step one takes to change their life is not a random process, in the sense that u can't have selective days where u choose to make change, it must be lasting and progressive. Example is going on a diet... many women and men wake up every second day saying "today i will change, i am going on a diet" but by the next day that have forgotten their self-promise and are back to their old habbits of poor eating and lacking excercise which decreases motivation for change.

Tim, what i have found through experience is, that feeling shit about yourself really decreases your motivation for change... when you feel GOOD about you, you are inspired and motivated to keep that GOOD feeling and thus u WANT change, instead of attempting to force change onto yourself.

I feel that if you do not seek medical advice, whatever the circumstances of the medical advice, you are REFUSING to feel good about yourself, because you are refusing yourself opportunity to take a step forward.

We have to be realistic, and you are not in a position to diagnose yourself or attempt to be the soul 'saviour' of your mind and physical condition. Though u may feel your doctor is not compitent enough to give u the attention you need, you should give it a go, without feeling ashamed of behing honest.

My father lies to his doctors... they ask him "do you drink?" he says "no", but they all know he is lying, he is fooling no-one but himself into thinking he has gotten away with something which he hasn't. Lying to a doctor helps no-one.

I once lied to a doctor. I went for a check-up to a womens clinic when i was still a virgin, and when the doctor asked if i had sex before, i lied and said yes, even tho i hadn't, because i was ashamed to admit i was a virgin. Next thing i know i was being sent to have all these tests done, that i wouldn't need to have, if i had told them i had not had sex before. I now have a record saying my first fuck was a guy called "joe".

Inspiration doesn't have to come from inspirational people. Sometimes u can be inspired by the jerks and idiots around you... inspired to be BETTER than that, and be a BETTER person. Positivity isn't the only inspiration force, because many are inspired from poverty, cruelty, injustice and opression... they are inspired to rise above that, beat it, FIGHT it and die doing it.

Be inspired by everything available to you... latch on and never let go, because once u have let go, its a long and hard road back... many times a road of regret and a sense of loss. Dont be a person that is forever looking back to a time when you were 'different', when you were more available to witness beauty.

Dont forever be one who has to be told of what exists... go in there and bare WITNESS..., be a witness, be a primary source of knowledge, and be brave to fight the injustices against you, wether commited by jerks around you, or doctors who are too busy to attend you.

Fight for your rights and dont be embarassed for doing it.

[eclectica]

Is it wrong to have these knowledges? It's a curse for being intelligent..and knowledge does increase sorrow
You are not intelligent. You are self-absorbed.

[eclectica]

I once lied to a doctor. I went for a check-up to a womens clinic when i was still a virgin, and when the doctor asked if i had sex before, i lied and said yes, even tho i hadn't, because i was ashamed to admit i was a virgin.
My wife seeks gynecologists who are females. They do not dismiss her symptoms and she is more comfortable dealing with them.

[Dollar_Girl]

My wife seeks gynecologists who are females. They do not dismiss her symptoms and she is more comfortable dealing with them.

I dislike going to male doctors, because i find the ones i have been to, have been a bit arrogant.

I once had an infection in my toe, and i went to the doctor, he said "ah i remember your face", i went on to inform him that my toe was infected and he said "no its not sweetheart". I was like... dude... can u not see the puss? he insisted it wasn't infected, when i knew it was. He just went on with "no it is'nt sweetheart, ok honey?" bullshit.

As for women issues... i preffer a woman, coz no man can understand beyond science what it is like to have pain in your uterus or ovaries. For a woman its more than a science.. its personal. Female Gynos aren't afraid to talk about their own vagina and their vagina experiences and let u know more secrets about your own pussy. meow.

[Dollar_Girl]

Tim, i dont want you to feel like you are being 'ganged' up on, because it is a very horrible feeling.

However, you shouldn't feel devestated by observations. If you disagree with them, you should stand up for yourself and let the truth be known.

Do you think that you are the sole member here entitled to give observational opinions?

[Criminal_Sniper]

hey its in the bible
u get more pain there cause u woman stole the fruit :p
though im not sure
but it dosent end up that way because of testicles which get kicked after being so arrogant
they dont have any idea about how bad THAT is!
we both got it fucked if ya ask me

[eclectica]

So you seemed to be suggesting that a 'pill' could fix me..it hasn't worked this time
I recommend beer
:beer:

It will make a man of you, my son

[eclectica]

There is this drug called Sarafem (http://guide.fateback.com/21.html) given to women with menstrual moodiness, which is actually the same drug as Prozac. Prozac has a bad reputation though.

I think with happiness, there is no way to cheat and only have happiness in one's life. If one does not have moments of sadness then one can not be happy either.

[Criminal_Sniper]

drugs only work as long as u keep taking them
thats if they DO work
the problem with changing ur emotions by changing ur seratonin levels is that once ur kidneys cant take it any more u die
if u stop taking them u go back into the hellhole
i totally believe they are fake happiness
i know from much experience trust me on this one
the only way to be happy is to be happy
sounds stupid but it works
thinbk positively and u will bring urself up
instead of thinking about ur problems think of the good things abouts u
they are harder to find just as a bad student gets more atention than a bad one in class
maybe if u change ur lifestyle then things will improve overall
just like rich people being unhappy with all thier money even

u know that if u went for a run every day the same chemical that these drugs bring up with go up?
wonder why after going to the gym or something u feel fucked in the body but u feel happy
which makes it all worth it

im no expert but the experts didnt help me

[Criminal_Sniper]

no problem man
u know im here to help..........
myself and others

[Criminal_Sniper]

if i can wait for death Tim i can wait for u
im not going anywhere today
maybe an adventure through nietzsche

[Dollar_Girl]

i dont think that is too practical.

THat is like telling someone "if you eat well, ur cancer will disapear and you wont nee surgery or CHemo".

Some people have severe and dangerous chemical imbalances in their brain and unless those balances are corrected, they follow the same destructive path of discontent and depression.

I agree that life style has SO MUCH to do with being content, but i dont think we should make it the sole factor in cause, effect, solution.

[Criminal_Sniper]

i bet uve researched it aswell
im sure u have tried to kill urself countless time like i had
i got happy so to speak by NOT taking drugs
am i a miracle?

saying eat well and cancer going away is unfounded and thats why it wouldnt work
take into account what does and dosent work

life style is totally the problem
without it the would be no influence to make the unhappyness
one does it without making it fake and hurting u in the long run
do u not know what prescription medicine does to ur body?
u cannot take medicine all ur life
when u go off it everything falls back tinto the whole u came out of
but it doesnt change anything!!!

[Criminal_Sniper]

dude God will not save u
he would have already
u have to save urself
to follow God is to believe is to not have control in any way
not ur thoughts or ur actions
in the bible we are sheep
jesus was a shepard for what?
i doubt he did a days sheparding in his life
figure out ur problems
cause and effect dude
work out the cause of ur the effect (ur problems)
then u can hopefully solve them and have a positive effect

[nicobie]

I had a good day today.

I cut into some crotch wood that I have had drying for a couple years and was surprised at the figure.

It's just a simple thing but it'll keep my mind busy trying to figure out what to make with it.

[Dollar_Girl]

i bet uve researched it aswell
im sure u have tried to kill urself countless time like i had
i got happy so to speak by NOT taking drugs
am i a miracle?

saying eat well and cancer going away is unfounded and thats why it wouldnt work
take into account what does and dosent work

life style is totally the problem
without it the would be no influence to make the unhappyness
one does it without making it fake and hurting u in the long run
do u not know what prescription medicine does to ur body?
u cannot take medicine all ur life
when u go off it everything falls back tinto the whole u came out of
but it doesnt change anything!!!

SO your saying because you tried to off yourself 'countless times', this means your research is complete? i'm afraid a valid conclusion takes more than a single test subject.

I disagree with you, while i aknowledge that environment and life-style are massive factors effecting the state of mind of a person, but you are wrong in ruling out everything else and believing that shipping someone to a sunny country side with horsies and flowers will cure any hormonal or chemical imbalance within their body effecting their moods.

I didnt say that taking medication to control a condition was a perminenent solution without any side-effects or down points, nor did i say it was the only solution.]

You however talk of some strange state of mind called "happiness" as though it was a solid entity like rain. Nobody walks around euphoric all day everyday, and those that DON'T, like me, are still of sound mind.

I dont think the aim is to make someone HAPPY, i think the aim is to make someone not want to off-themselves because they are convinced the are depressed.

ANTI DEPRESSANT not HAPPY PILL.

[Criminal_Sniper]

the levels of chemicals are usually INCREASED!
not just brought back to level
and notice i said happy so to speak
cause i dont think im totally happy
i dont think humans can be
something is always on my back
i dont think Tim is on the point of no return
What do u think man?

[Criminal_Sniper]

fun work.........
:D:D :banana: :soapbox: :axe: :caffeine: :beer: :flush: :curse:

[nicobie]

Sheessssss...

U talk to much. Just do it dillweed.

[dudeasincool]

hi tim

several of my clients and close associates are manic depressive. my family has a history of it, too. not knowing any of the particulars, and i tried not to delve into your private matters, my sense is that people who have m.d., have a fear of medicine, as if its going to change them. the reality is that people with this condition have a slight chemical imbalance which can easily be corrected. its not a big problem. im happy to put you in direct touch some people ive helped. and i have a direct number to suicide counselors if you ever need one--which you probably dont (dudeasincool@hotmail.com).

my advice is simple--there are alot of free clinics where you can get some medicine. in the meantime, exercise releases endorphins, and is a good thing.

hope i havent misinterpreted anything--just trying to be helpful. again, nice site man--looks like you have some caring people around you, too.

[Criminal_Sniper]

i wish i could help people
im still trying
but the problem either want to be help or want to help themselves
other than that its pretty difficult

[nicobie]

What part of goodbye don't u understand?...


Like later dorko.

[Criminal_Sniper]

from not too hard in trying ive come to the conclusion that u are the most unwanted person here nicobie
im not sure of anyone that really likes u
im not saying im Herr popular aber du fikst deine mutter! :D
if only i could jump out and curse u
u slimy little fuck

<rephrase>u cant force help on people
first they have to want to help themselves
then get or look for help
asking for help is not something i like to do
im very fucking stubborn when it comes to it</rephrase> :D

and its Nietzsche ;)

Christianity was from the beginning, essentially and fundamentally, life's nausea and disgust with life, merely concealed behind, masked by, dressed up as, faith in "another" or "better" life.

from Nietzsche's The Birth of Tragedy, p.23