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View Full Version : the incident.

2004-11-04, 23:40
This morning, while i was laying in bed eating toast and watching the news, i felt something quickly run onto my arm. When i looked i realised it was a gigantic furry spider.

So naturally, i throw my toast across the room, scream very loudly and do the 'omg there is a spider on my arm' dance work-out.

This incident is natures reminder that it is indeed spider season again as the weather heats up and the humidity increases. Spiders thrive in this weather...

In these parts of Australia spiders during the season will be everywhere. When you are on the toilet, you learn very quickly to keep your eyes on the ceiling because redback spiders like to crawl out of the lights and lower themelves onto u. Big furry spiders will be on the walls, in your sheets and hiding in dark boxes... they will crawl out of sofas scurry across the floor boards and run across your tv screens.

Then there are the ants... rainy weather (which is summer in australia) means that the ants will go crazy. Have you ever left a muffin in the kitchen, half eaten, woke up the next day to just see some spare crumbs and about one million ants scurrying all over the place... ants will line the fences around your home... the trail will lead up your water pipes... through any crack in the exterior... and somehow will end up inside your house, building a nest in your pot plant. During the humid weather you can really smell the ants.

Another horrible disgusting unthinkable creature that thrives in the hot weather... is the maggot. the maggot i hate most out of everything. maggots make me want to look away and run the opposite direction until i just drop dead and die right away.

Once i put a pot with meat left overs outside, because i thought i'd give them to the dogs for dinner that night... and i forgot about it... 2 days later there are literally THOUSANDS of maggots. Ignoring the urge to pass-out and block out this reality, i went for the fly spray and sprayed them all... and i went back one hour later and there were mountains.... mountains of shrivelled maggots all clumped and stuck together. i had to call someone to clean it up because i couldn't deal with the horrible crime scene.

Anyway, i'm pretty sure i have made3 a thread like this already, as i am usually inspired to let out my sorrows when the hot weather begins...

ps.... cockroaches.

did u know if you scare one of our roaches, they will fly after u, and land in your hair... once i havve a roach in my long hair, i have no option but to shave my head.


2004-11-05, 01:27
I guess living in a cold weather climate has its benefits, that it limits the size and abundance of those crazy vermin. I am wondering if malaria and mosquitoes are a problem where you live, and if you have screens on your windows. That must be terrible having those things crawling on you. That reminds me of a story my wife told of how her sister in Africa saw a roach while shitting and she went running out of the bathroom with shit running down her legs, because she had a strong fear of roaches.

2004-11-05, 11:53
yeah, fears make people do strange things. When i had cable television, they aired an American tv show called maury povich. He regularly had shows dedicated to people and fears. People on that show had insane fears of things like buttons and pickles... and when they saw these objects they were TERRIFIED... i'm talking hysterical, crying and screaming...

In australia we don't really suffer badly from malaria, however we have other mosquito transfered diseases such as ross river fever or something? We do have bad out-breaks of mosquitos, and you suffer especially when u live near the water. my boyfriend suffers from reocurring malaria that he caught in papua new gunea. Fly screens are a must in this country, no house is without them. I have never thought about it really... its just normal here. I havn't seen a house without screens on every door and window.

i have seen those american hissing roaches... they are massive. ours are dirty and they fly around... yuck.

2004-11-05, 13:07
Okay, Australia was one place I really wanted to visit before I die. lol.
Your post, Dollar, could be used as a horror flick for goodness sakes.
I'm not reallly afraid of anything, per say, but if some furry, you said furry, spider was on me, that is a whole different story. I'd have to ask you to dance, lady, on that one. lol.

That reminds me of a story my wife told of how her sister in Africa saw a roach while shitting and she went running out of the bathroom with shit running down her legs, because she had a strong fear of roaches.

I don't mean to laugh, (okay, I do), but that is funny as hell. lmao.

Okay, I got one. A friend of mine use to love playing with every crawling, creeping thing, his whole childhood. And then came the Discovery Channel. lol. He saw those same creatures, up close and personal, and became disgusted with them, as an adult.
Well, one day we were outside of his house. He has one of those tall, evergreens there, by the steps. He saw a spider web on it and decided to get a stick and remove it. Well, when he had it on the stick and went to shake it into the grass, I don't know if the wind blew or he just shook it too wildly, but it ended up on him. What he noticed (too late I might add) is that the spider must have just laid it's eggs and there were like a million tiny, baby spiders in the web.
Ahhh, I was laughing my fucking ass off. He was doing the dance Dollar mentions, only 1000 times funnier, I'm sure. He had his hands in a frenzy shaking his hair, his jacket was off, and then his shirt. He was jumping all around and his arms flayling. It was the funniest sight I've ever seen.
Of course, when his fit ended, he was as if nothing had happened and he was all cool and everything. I was standing there laughing and mos def, pointing. lol.

2004-11-06, 03:18
We all do need to get along....

Hahahahahahahahahaa~~~~~~ Bugs will win~~~~~